The thought of you,
And I could be High on Codeine
Just The sight of you walking away,
And I’ll be on a high dose of morphine
Just stay by me
You wont be another reason why
P.s The following should not be taken literally in any way. It’s completely metaphorical.
If I was conscious I’d be cold, I’d be her king but at the same time the executioner. I’d rule and be noble but at the same time be a dictator. I’d wake up every day with a smile and still push you away. I’d buy you candy then poison you. I’d drop you off then run you over. I’d pick you up then kidnap you. I’d set you free only to shoot you in the back. And when it’s all over I’d kneel next to you,lean in and tell you that it’ll be okay. That you’ll be in a better place. And even if you’ll be gone, at least I’ll know you’ll never be with anyone else. And you’ll tell me you despise me even as the saliva dries up in your mouth, even as every word you say takes away a second from that minute you have till you bleed out. And at the very last breath you’ll tell me you still love me, because that’s what you are. Because that’s who you are, an angel. A most loving heart, a most understanding mind, a most pure soul, my only one. The only one I ever loved, the only one who cared,the only one who stayed when all others stayed away. And at that moment after you’re gone it’ll burn through my soul and it’ll be quiet and I’ll say to myself “Goodbye bitch, I’ll always love you.”
He rummaged through her soul. Made of dark scars and a Pure heart he loved. Pain that knows joy escalating through her deepest fears. Love that knows peace brought out with a spice of chaste.Haste was always his chase. And his pace killed their space. He always thought it made a change so did the rest. The impact was great but they will always blame fate. He loved her from what he thought was innocence, clean to his face with a little humour mixed in her phase.
She thought he was funny, with a little of style crowned with sass. It felt like running knowing you will still win. With his deep scars that bleed through her heart.. She was in love. He cast his cares and Cries every time it dawned a new. He had found comfort so he made her his home. She had her heart in a crib. She feed his afflictions with good grace and soothed through his taint. She engraved his scars and brought his face to the light. She was a slave of her emotions. He had changed.. He was just as good as fresh steak from the grill. His life was no longer an echo.Every fear he faced came back to retrieve his strength. He had made her his goddess truly.
She, was she the good girl who walked through confetti all her life and shone like the galaxy through space? She was wild at heart and mild at act. Her life was chaos but it never restricted her care. She passed through fire.We could say that’s what made her fierce. Her pain shone upon her smile. Like the Amazon, you would just get lost from one of her phase. She was great in her own eyes but faint Through their faces. She was the light that shone upon darkness. She was a river in which he lay his burdens down. But a river could have a stream, she was a river made of streams Streams that drew bliss away from her soul. But somehow her stream of joy never ran dry. You could call her pain gold. For she shone through every shade. She made him only see a peak of her scars, he never craved her pain. After a snake bite people suck the poison out but it seemed like he didn’t even know there are snakes and maybe he thought poison was some sugar.But she always made it her sugar such that the rash was just motivation 👣. With the season becoming long some of her waters dried. Clearly she did not want scars on bear land and ugly land marks. So she prayed that radiation crave her waters. Soon enough she became a river that was once before. He craved the waters back but they were long gone. His pain aged as her face changed 🌼She had become a piece of land with golden tulips to its fence ❄. He had awakened her ghost which were Chasing after his shade. To hide the shame, she swayed away from the hurt and made a cuff to her heart. She is beautiful.she became a garden drawing water from her source.
She found him. The waters for which her plants crave.He replenished his water all day. He became her source and she became his day 1.He Brought light upon her burn. He made her glow . And she grows everyday ☀. She is sunshine that will shine on his bed every Morning 🌻.
~By Wangechi ~
The fault in our stars,one of the movies I’ve watched and questioned my threshold for feelings as a guy. It’s not normal to find a guy sobbing because of some stupid,shitty,crappy,cute,super emotional storyline. But maybe it just shows you’re vulnerable to pain, to emotion, to love, to everything. Well i felt like watching it all over again but I couldn’t risk finding out how many lines(written by some scriptwriter somewhere earning thousands)it took to….Well you know… So I thought of reading the book instead and it became my favourite book. I’ve read it a couple of times already. The one thing i learnt from this book is that Pain demands to be felt. You will shut yourself from the world, from love and anger and drown your sorrows in booze but you will never shut away pain. It’s the reason you’re shutting yourself from the world in the first place, it’s the reason you’re drowning your sorrows in drugs. It demands to be felt and it will take you down when you ignore it.
The most painful thing is seeing someone you love happy with someone else, knowing there’s someone who can make them happier than you do, knowing there’s someone who could easily replace you when you’re trying your best. But do you know what is equally painful? It’s knowing that there’s someone who can make you happier than the one you’re in love with. I mean yes you’re in love but they don’t make you as happy as the other person. And then you’re caught up between love and happiness. But ask yourself is it really love if there isn’t happiness? And would you be happy if there isn’t love? Now you’re caught up between a free fall 5000 metres and an overdose on Cocaine or whatever drug will kill you. Does the pain matter? You’ll die either way.
Let’s name these two. So there’s Person A who you love but doesn’t make you as happy as Person B. You’re putting too much effort to make person A happy but it’s like it’s not enough for them. The time you spend is just casual no fun. Then there’s Person B who makes you happy without even trying. You feel free with them, they know you love someone else but they still stick around and make you the happiest they can and you feel really special. You’re in love but you have a broken heart torn apart by yourself. Then you start thinking maybe Person A is just with you because they don’t want to break your heart and see you shattered. They don’t want to be responsible for your heart break,they don’t want to carry the guilt. But they’ve already broken your heart. If you thought about anyone as you read this then you’ll understand me when i say that Pain demands to be felt.
“She played the Fidel on an Irish band,but she fell in love with an English man,kissed her by the neck then took her by the hand, said baby I just want to dance”
I would tell you I love you tonight but I feel there’s somewhere that’s better for you. We used to set each other’s lonely nights,but lately all we’ve been doing is burning down bridges between our love and eternity. I just wanna have a conversation but pride…. Complications….We never fight but I can see it in your eyes. Maybe we’re scared of love,and what did it do to us? It’s like you want me to be perfect but you can’t see that I’m hurting. Sometimes it’s hard to please you when you’re taking my breath and blowing it away. I think about the end way to much, not because it’s fun to fantasize but because the pain has become a part of me, it’s easy finding comfort in pain rather than battling for your joy. I keep wondering if I just dodged a bullet or lost the love of my life. It hurts when you lose the one you wanted, because she’s taken you for granted. Say it’s just a mistake,I’d forgive you for it. But remember that band aids don’t fix bullet holes,these cuts are too deep for a band aid solution.
While you’re out there feeling the world, watching the flowers bloom, I’ll be living my life, falling deeper in love with you,as the darkness looms.Are we fading lovers? Should we let this go? Should we chase forever? Or just stop being together? Two hearts still beating but with different rhythms. I’ve got a hole in my heart from some kind of emotional rollercoaster. Please don’t go away,and I’ll hold on to it now, because someday when you leave you’ll see me in hindsight telling emotional earthquakes bring disaster. But you’re here with me now, I don’t want you to go because nobody knows the secret tomorrow will hold.
There’s so much I can’t explain,like why we’re helping each other escape. And it hurts that we’re causing this. I could use a dream right now or we could pretend airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars,grant me one last wish. But it won’t matter now unless your heart’s in it. There are moments we’ll fall to the ground,but that’s when we are stronger. Let’s get back up be just you and I, because we make the stars shine like they were ours. We could be beautiful,take me back to the time only we knew, travel back down that road.
There’s a calm surrender to the rush of day when the heat of a rolling wind can be turned away,an enchanted moment and it sees me through, it’s enough for this restless heart to be with you. Something about you makes me wanna try again,I tried to fill the space, forget my mistakes,you just can’t be replaced. I’m jealous of the way you’re happy without me.