I’m drunk

You’re the fear, I don’t care
Because I’ve never been so high
Follow me to the dark
Let me take you past our satellites
You can see the world you brought to life.

I am drunk.You couldn’t be farther from my state too.

Intoxicated by brew, drunk on my own thoughts.

Will it burn you up till you can’t keep it inside?

It’s a matter of choice really, what your endpoint is.

It’s a trial.

No matter how many times I try, I can’t figure it out.

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Rumination

I used to drink for the ones I’d lost, now I drink for the ones who stayed, the ones I have. For the longest time I found solace inside the walls of a painful realm. A realm of sorrow, a happy place. A realm of guilt, an innocent place. A realm filled with hatred, a place to love the most , for you can only hate that which you can love, you can only find guilt in that which was once innocent, only sorrow in the happiest of people. Those four walls have changed the way I feel, running from myself.

The skies are blue but the thunder rages on high. What’s the day without a little night?

A Little Ways Down The Road.

I Miss Us.

You took the sun with you,

The long texts, the late night secrets, the laughs, and all the good times.

We don’t say hi no more. 

I tend to live in memories that I’m trying to forget. 

I have spent too much time at war with myself.

I’m Jealous you’re happy without me. 

 

It’s so hard to walk away from one-sided love, even though sometimes it feels like it’s exactly what you were looking for.

I’m Sorry I was Never Enough.

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All I Know Are Sad Songs

….I cut them all loose and work’s my excuse but the truth is i can’t open up

What hurts the most isn’t letting go, It’s realising how long you held on to something that wasn’t real.

….hold on to me cause i’m a little unsteady

Now we’re slipping at the edge holding something we don’t need, So come on let it go, Just let it be.

….these shallow waters never met what I needed,I’m letting go a deeper dive

I used to recognize myself, It’s funny how reflections change, When we’re becoming something else, I think it’s time to walk away.

….it hurts me every time i see you, realize how much i need you, i hate you i love you

I knew I loved you then but you’d never know, cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting you go.

….once upon a time you were my everything, it’s crazy to see that time hasn’t changed a thing.

Maybe one day i can see you we can  smile and wave and it’ll be okay Maybe one day it’ll be cool, we can just be friends without the complications that it brings when we start saying things.

….there’s something about you that just makes me wanna try again,you just can’t be replaced

I couldn’t find a day I didn’t feel alone, I never meant to cry, started losing hope, But somehow baby, You broke through and saved me.

….and she smiles, oh the way she smiles

See, growing up I always felt like I had to be the best at everything, Cause I just didn’t think I was good enough. And maybe if I was good at something, that I’d get recognition from that, but I quickly realised that I wasn’t going to get the recognition that I wanted or that I needed.

….there’s something you don’t know you do that makes me feel my feels for you

And I’m not gonna tell you that I’m over it, because I think about it every night I’m not sober, and I know I keep these feelings to myself Like I don’t need nobody else.

….in the arms of a stranger, pretending it’s love

I’m out on the edge and I’m screaming my name,Like a fool at the top of my lungs, Sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I’m alright,But it’s never enough.

….i’m aware that it’s mistake if I love you,It’s a mistake if I don’t

Saw you the other day. You look happier, my friends told me one day I’ll feel it too.But until then I’ll smile to hide the truth, But I know I was happier with you.

….i’m committed, not addicted but it keep controlling me, all that pain, now I can’t feel it


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Into The Deep

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He rummaged through her soul. Made of dark scars and a Pure heart he loved. Pain that knows joy escalating through her deepest fears. Love that knows peace brought out with a spice of chaste.Haste was always his chase. And his pace killed their space. He always thought it made a change so did the rest. The impact was great but they will always blame fate. He loved her from what he thought was innocence, clean to his face with a little humour mixed in her phase.

 She thought he was funny, with a little of style crowned with sass. It felt like running knowing you will still win. With his deep scars that bleed through her heart.. She was in love. He cast his cares and Cries every time it dawned a new. He had found comfort so he made her his home. She had her heart in a crib. She feed his afflictions with good grace and soothed through his taint. She engraved his scars and brought his face to the light. She was a slave of her emotions. He had changed.. He was just as good as fresh steak from the grill. His life was no longer an echo.Every fear he faced came back to retrieve his strength. He had made her his goddess truly.

She, was she the good girl who walked through confetti all her life and shone like the galaxy through space? She was wild at heart and mild at act. Her life was chaos but it never restricted her care. She passed through fire.We could say that’s what made her fierce. Her pain shone upon her smile. Like the Amazon, you would just get lost from one of her phase. She was great in her own eyes but faint Through  their faces. She was the light that shone upon darkness. She was a river in which he lay his burdens down. But a river could have a stream, she was a river made of streams Streams that drew bliss away from her soul. But somehow her stream of joy never ran dry. You could call her pain gold. For she shone through every shade. She made him only see a peak of her scars, he never craved her pain. After a snake bite people suck the poison out but it seemed like he didn’t even know there are snakes and maybe he thought poison was some sugar.But she always made it her sugar such that the rash was just motivation πŸ‘£. With the season becoming long some of her waters dried. Clearly she did not want scars on bear land and ugly land marks. So she prayed that radiation crave her waters. Soon enough she became a river that was once before. He craved the waters back but they were long gone. His pain aged as her face changed 🌼She had become a piece of land with golden tulips to its fence ❄. He had awakened her ghost which were Chasing after his shade. To hide the shame, she swayed away from the hurt and made a cuff to her heart. She is beautiful.she became a garden drawing water from her source.

She found him. The waters for which her plants crave.He replenished his water all day. He became her source and she became his day 1.He Brought light upon her burn. He made her glow . And she grows everyday β˜€. She is sunshine that will shine on his bed every Morning 🌻.


~By Wangechi ~